Two in the morning epiphany

Today is the last day of the first week. And it's been a difficult week for me. I've had so many thoughts about writing a 'bad' book and what's the point of finishing my book when it's a piece of crap anyway. I've battled with these thoughts, focussing on the card from Day Three. Just get through it. Just show yourself that you don't quit everything, that you can complete this book.

But there is more to being a Growth person than not quitting. It's the attitude. And my attitude is still firmly in the Fixed mindset (65% talent + 35% effort = 100% success). With my Fixed mindset, I kept thinking how this book will prove how untalented and truly rubbish I am. The only reason I'm continuing with the book is to demonstrate that I can stick something out until the end. To show I'm not a failure. 

WAIT!!!!

That is not the voice of a Growth mindset person (65% effort + 35% talent = 100% success).

The Growth person (aka the new Nicola) would think:

'Okay, great, so I've never written a book before! What a wonderful opportunity to practise my writing and see improvements over a short period of time. This is a really safe space to try new things. And imagine all of the things that I'm going to learn through this experience! Imagine all the new ideas that I'll have while writing this book that I can use in the future. Imagine all of the things that I'll do differently the next time that I write a book.'

So my new mantra is not focussed on pure completion. It's about practise, trying new things, learning, coming up with new ideas, and taking note of the things that I'll do differently next time.

It's not about whether my book is good or bad. It doesn't matter if people have high expectations for me or low ones. It doesn't matter if I want to write the best book in the world but fear it is the worst. All that matters is that I'm learning as I go along. That I'm taking every opportunity to hone new ideas and to think about my future writing and how I might improve based on these experiences.

Finally I feel like I'm beginning to truly understand what it means to have a Growth mindset.